The Reason Empowerment is Crucial:
Let me start by saying, you are about to read some fairly graphic details about events in my life. These events changed my life forever. However, I dare say that my life was changed for good and I will use this to help those around me to stand tall in confidence and in the "I Can" mindset!
Empowerment has been an agenda for me since about 2010…if not before then. Having children made me see the world differently. Teaching them to be strong in their decisions and to be an overcomer was built into the blueprints of raising them. Life brings experiences that build character. From this character we learn who we are and what we stand for!
2018 was one of the worst years of my life but also brought about some of the most amazing events I’ve ever experienced.
This was a year that finalized a relationship that had been about 23-24 years in the making. My husband and I separated and my world turned upside down. This was something that had to happen because of the way we had changed but my soul was ripped in half.
I was the one who brought about the change.
I found myself evolving into a person that I had never known but could feel was who I really and truly was on the inside. News of the separation was almost more than either of us could bear. I felt like I had to be the strong one since it was me who initiated it. I had to act like I was doing fine while dying inside. My heart ached terribly and my body was a fraction of what I had known it to be. Our three children were crushed…of course. My husband was more than crushed.
Here I was…the one who caused an immense amount of pain. Could I live through this? To be completely honest, I did not think so. I truly thought I would die of a broken spirit and a broken heart.
However, there was this voice inside that reassured me that this was necessary and that there is no value in staying somewhere that I did not belong. I trusted this voice, this overwhelming feeling of hope. It was the single most difficult thing I have ever gone through and didn’t think I would survive…but I did! The more time passed, the more I could feel hope. The hope grew and grew and I began to feel myself becoming this person who I believe was always inside of me but never had the chance to emerge. I lived with a good friend and helped take care of his dad, who has Alzheimers. I just love his dad. He is a lot of fun and sort of became a father figure to me. While he has Alzheimers, he still had his mind. He was fun to talk to, adventure with and get to know. On the other hand, it was a huge undertaking. I was with him from morning until night and a lot of times those days seemed like three days in one. At a time when I was going through the healing from the devastation of a life that was all I knew, I was also caring for a man who was also facing a similar fate.
Together we were witnessing the devastation of a life but I could see a reemergence of a new life forming.
In March of 2018, as if all of this was not enough, I started working with a business coach to plan the first ever and first of its kind Midwest Beauty Summit. This was exciting!
We worked on the summit until June and realized we needed a professional event planner. We postponed the event from July to October and jumped in head first with fast forward planning.
The experience of planning an event in sonic speed was also one of the most stressful things I have ever done.
While planning the Midwest Beauty Summit and going through all of these incredibly crazy things in my life…I started going to an acupuncturist. I love alternative medicine and am open minded to new ways of treatment.
However, with this specific doctor, I fell into a trap. It was one month until the Midwest Beauty Summit and I had an acupuncture appointment. It was my third appointment with this doctor. The appointment weirdly lasted 3 hours ( I didn’t even realized until it was over) and he raped me. My whole world spiraled out of control for a little while after realizing what was happening. This was a doctor! Doctors don’t do this! Right??!! The whole event was very traumatizing. When I left, I sat in my car frozen in fear, not able to function. My mind was spinning as I recounted what he just did to me.
I couldn’t believe his happened to me.
I am a fierce tiger…I have always thought through situations like this… ”I would go nuts if someone did this to me!”, “I would never let that happen.”, “He is a doctor…he would never do that to someone.”
I couldn’t stop my mind. What did I do wrong? How could I have reacted differently?
Why did I let that happen?
Do I call the police?
Did I do something wrong? How? Why? Wait..What just happened?
My phone rang and I had to pull it together, it was Trevor. Trevor is my ride or die, best friend turned boyfriend.
“I can’t let him know what happened…he is going to freak out!” So, I pulled it together and said, “Hey! Are you home?” He replied Yes. I said: “ I am coming over.” He replied: “Are you ok?” I said: “Yes, I will be right there.” Not sure how I got home, I was shaking uncontrollably and couldn’t think straight. I walked inside his house and looked at him and froze stiff. Suddenly I lost all control and was sobbing and shaking. He was looking at me like what the….! After what seemed like hours…I was able to get out a few words to let him know what just happened. His world turned upside down and the rage was setting in. He took me to the police station and they took me to the emergency room while the detective drove straight to the doctor’s office.
The whole event was so surreal. It felt like a nightmare.
Here I was sitting in the emergency room. The sweetest lady comes in to say she will be my advocate. In other words, I can tell her everything or I don’t have to tell her anything, but she will be there for me and do whatever I need her to do.
Then the nurse comes in and the process begins.
They took my clothes (for evidence) and gave me a lovely (haha) gown and a blanket. They asked a million questions which triggered a total breakdown every time. I was exhausted. Trevor came with new clothes for me and stayed with me while the process continued. How grateful I was to have him there to help me through this surreal and incredibly dehumanizing process.
Coming away from this horrible experience has left me with a greater mission to lift people up! This experience has strengthened my idea of community and why we need each other. Teaching and Empowering women, and people in general, is what we must do.
To be able to go through all of these things in one year and survive, but mostly, to come out stronger is by far one of the most amazing feelings. This is a small part of what drives me and the team behind Beauty Summit to push forward in this ever evolving world of change and be the change-makers!
The Midwest Beauty Summit was still happening...it was one month away. I was reminded quickly that life moves on. You have to deal with life experiences properly and completely while remembering you are strong, able and more determined than ever to make these dreams happen!
The summit was greatly successful! We hosted 150 hair stylists, makeup artists and students. It was one of the most amazing experiences I have had and will build upon these concepts for the next one!!!
All of this is to say that life is going to throw you curve balls...BUT GIRL...pick yourself up, stand tall in your beautiful confidence and carry on like you have never done before!